WITNESS TO CHILDBIRTH

WITNESS TO CHILD BIRTH

Should children witness childbirth?

Here's your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby...

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.

Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed....

Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... smack his ass again!'
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you!!!

SPIDERMAN HAS GOT MARRIED!

HYDERABADI IN AMERICA

Pure Hyderabadi problem…………………… enjoy it

Wah re America –

Na Idhar ke Rahe …
Na Udhar ke Rahe...
Beech adhar atke rahe…

Na Hyderabad ku bhula sake
Na Amrica ku apna sake
Hyderabadi-Amrican ban’ke kaam chalate rahe
Na Urdu ku chod sake
Na Angrezi ku pakad sake
Desi accent mein goron ku confuse karte chale

Na Turkey ku paka sake
Na gravy bana sake
Murgi ku dam de ke thanksgiving manate chale

Na Christmas tree laga sake
Na bacchon ku samjha sake
Eid par Santa banke tohfe bat-te chale

Na shorts pahen sake
Na shalwar chod sake
Jeans pe kurta aur sneakers chadake itraate chale

Na, Nashte mein donut kha sake
Na khichdi khatta bhula sake
Pizza par mirchi chidakkar maza lete rahe

Na garmiyon ku bhula sake
Na baraf ku apna sake
Khidke se suraj ku dekhke ‘beautiful day’ kahte rahe

Ab ayi baari Hyderabad ku jane ki……toh..
Haath mein paani ka sheesha lekar chale

Lekin wahan par...

Na gupchup kha sake
Na lassi pee sake
Peth ke darad se tadapte rahe…
Gullathi kha ke kaam chalate rahe..

Na macchar se bhaag sake
Na khujli ku rok sake
Cream se dadodon ku chupate chale

Na fakiron se bach sake
Na dollar ku chupa sake
Naukaron se bi peecha chuda kar bhaagte rahe…

Na khuddi par baith sake
Na Kamot ku bhool sake
Bas beech adhar jhukke kaam chalate rahe….

Na idhar ke rahe…
Na udhar ke rahe…
Kambaqt, kahin ke Na rahe

Bas ‘ABCD’ aulaad ko aur confuse banate chale…

THE PASTOR'S DONKEY

The Pastor's Ass The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day the local paper headline read:  BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR’S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey. The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.  The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:  NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The Bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

WIVES