THIS BLOG WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE EXCELLENT CONTRIBUTIONS OF MY VERY SWEET AND FAVOURITE UNCLE MR. MUJIB KIDWAI.

Wednesday 27 February 2013

WITNESS TO CHILDBIRTH


WITNESS TO CHILD BIRTH
Should children witness childbirth?

Here's your answer.

Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.

The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby...

Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born.

The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.

Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed....

Kathleen quickly responded, 'He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place... smack his ass again!'
If you don't laugh at this one, there's no hope for you!!!

Monday 18 February 2013

HYDERABADI IN AMERICA


Pure Hyderabadi problem…………………… enjoy it

Wah re America –

Na Idhar ke Rahe …
Na Udhar ke Rahe...
Beech adhar atke rahe…

Na Hyderabad ku bhula sake
Na Amrica ku apna sake
Hyderabadi-Amrican ban’ke kaam chalate rahe
Na Urdu ku chod sake
Na Angrezi ku pakad sake
Desi accent mein goron ku confuse karte chale

Na Turkey ku paka sake
Na gravy bana sake
Murgi ku dam de ke thanksgiving manate chale

Na Christmas tree laga sake
Na bacchon ku samjha sake
Eid par Santa banke tohfe bat-te chale

Na shorts pahen sake
Na shalwar chod sake
Jeans pe kurta aur sneakers chadake itraate chale

Na, Nashte mein donut kha sake
Na khichdi khatta bhula sake
Pizza par mirchi chidakkar maza lete rahe

Na garmiyon ku bhula sake
Na baraf ku apna sake
Khidke se suraj ku dekhke ‘beautiful day’ kahte rahe

Ab ayi baari Hyderabad ku jane ki……toh..
Haath mein paani ka sheesha lekar chale

Lekin wahan par...

Na gupchup kha sake
Na lassi pee sake
Peth ke darad se tadapte rahe…
Gullathi kha ke kaam chalate rahe..

Na macchar se bhaag sake
Na khujli ku rok sake
Cream se dadodon ku chupate chale

Na fakiron se bach sake
Na dollar ku chupa sake
Naukaron se bi peecha chuda kar bhaagte rahe…

Na khuddi par baith sake
Na Kamot ku bhool sake
Bas beech adhar jhukke kaam chalate rahe….

Na idhar ke rahe…
Na udhar ke rahe…
Kambaqt, kahin ke Na rahe

Bas ‘ABCD’ aulaad ko aur confuse banate chale…

Wednesday 13 February 2013

THE PASTOR'S DONKEY



The Pastor's Ass


The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and
it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race again and it won again.


The local paper read:

PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.


The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter
the donkey in another race.



The next day the local paper headline
read:
 
BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR’S


ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered the Pastor to get
rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline the next day:


NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.


The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey so she
sold it to a farmer for $10.
 
The next day the paper read:


NUN SELLS


ASS FOR $10.


This was too much for the Bishop so he
ordered the Nun to buy back
the donkey and lead it to the plains where


it could run wild.


The next day the headlines read:
 

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being
concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and


misery . . even shorten your
life. So be yourself and enjoy life.


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier and live longer!