THIS BLOG WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE EXCELLENT CONTRIBUTIONS OF MY VERY SWEET AND FAVOURITE UNCLE MR. MUJIB KIDWAI.

Wednesday 12 December 2012

AN EPIC!

THIS IS EPIC !!!!!


After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes.
 
As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell
phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart, its Eric. I am on the train."
"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting".
"No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss".
"No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life". "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart"
 
Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly.
 
When the young woman sitting next to him had enough, she leaned over and said
into the phone..........................
"Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
 
Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer."

Monday 10 December 2012

PH.D

YOU CAN'T BEAT KIDS


 little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'.




Description: cid:8FA8E210F95846538A0569624565642C@oicl.com
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'
 

The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

Description: cid:7381172950A944E98F1B7F5D41427B92@oicl.com
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

Description: cid:3E2A4BBF15754954BEAD8F0036729A5E@oicl.com
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor..'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead..'

Description: cid:CC6413CE409B41F7BC145EC8AAEA2811@oicl.com
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.
 

'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
 
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'


Description: cid:D3A415DA16B34AFFAC1AD3002AB2FE34@oicl.com
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
 

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'